How we use cookies and other rewards

My daughter has no diagnosis. And it is unclear whether she should or will ever get one. But that does not prevent her brain from functioning in many ways just as my own brain. I can cheat myself to really much and can get myself to almost everything, if only I have a sufficient amount of reward in available that makes me happy enough.

We have found a particular kind of honey biscuit, which has way too many calories and is too sweet and tastes of honey and is just so lovely. My daughter is very, very happy with it. Earlier it was called poop cookie at home, because she could get that when she learned to excrete on the toilet.



But as that became easier and more natural, she forgot to ask for her biscuit. And it is used as a reward for something else that’s hard to learn. You do not need a reward when something is easy. She understands that well. At least when it just suits her.

We’re always working on one thing at a time, and right now she is learning to limit media time. Especially time with her tablet. Read more about that here.

At first, the cookie is big and round and counts almost for a full meal. Then it is first divided in half and later in 3 pieces of which she gets one. When things are going well, the cookie gets quartered, and so we will soon be there where she will forget to ask for it.

When she once in a while wants a biscuit without having done anything that deserves a reward, I think of something. So I say to her that I have to find something that is a new task for her and deserves a biscuit. Nowadays this could be that we go out with the rubbish bag together. Even when it is still half empty, this is a reason to give her a reward. So she learns something, I do not break The Power of the Cookie and she is allowed to eat cookies when she wants to. Win-win for everyone 🙂

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